The Fadigans Move Forward...

This is my first post from the mobile app. Hopefully, it turns ok. You'll have to let me know, because I probably won't see this post from a desktop until tomorrow morning. 

Anyway, Kyle and I had our first budget meeting in a very long time. Although, a little frustrating trying to stretch every dollar, it felt really good to be working on the problem together. I was very grateful that he was so understanding and thoughtful about his input. No fighting this time. I will post the details of our meeting tomorrow, as my notes are away already and I'm in the bath. I really just want to give you a run down of the new features that I will be running on Girl Forward that highlight mine and Kyle's journey as we restart our debt free goals and spiritual/mental/physical strengthening. 

Kyle and I decided that we are much more likely to follow through with our goals and plans if we had an audience and readers to be accountable to. With that in mind, I'm going to be faithful to record our progress here. This is tentatively what the blog schedule for posts featuring Kyle and me will look like: 

First of the month: monthly budget and debt snowball progress. 

Weekly ( I haven't decided which days yet) : Mine and Kyle's health numbers, body fat, weight, inches etc. We have made a committment to ourselves and each other to get into better physical shape. Not only are we going to work out but I'm going to research between two plant based diets and see which one works best for us. Also, weekly, I'm going to include progress of house projects as we attempt to fix up the house for resale. Sundays, I'll update each of our take away from the morning's service. 

Daily: We figured if we had to be honest about what we were spending our money on, what we were eating and doing with our time, we'd be more intentional about all of it. So daily, I'll post mini updates of all of those things. 

We have lived a prodigal life for the last five years; our unrealized motto being 'Eat, drink and be merry for tomorrow we die' .... I have no desire to live a frivolous and wasted life any longer. Neither of us do. Kyle says we had to learn things the hard way so that we'll never do it again. His words are true and I am interested in righting our ship to the proper course. Desperately, as apparently is needed. 

Please stay with us as we sort through our mess and learn to live well. 

Career Goals: Why it took me eight years to figure out what I want.

This year, has been very moving for me, personally. I am experiencing a holistic growth spurt. What I mean by that, is that I've been experiencing growth in many aspects of my life and I must say that I don't think I've been handling it very well. At least, in my mind. Many people say I am way too hard on myself and maybe that's true and maybe outwardly, I've been able to conduct myself almost wholly sane, but inside I feel like my whole chest and brain are about to explode into a million pieces of pink confetti. But... I can altogether say that all of this is good. The fire has left me more refined. At least in the way of unpacking and sorting through more of my baggage. I feel like crap for the attitude of my heart this last year but I am thrilled about the layers that have been stripped away from me over the course of it.

      I think that learning more about my hurts and scars and finally having the guts to look at them has helped me be more authentic. I just want to be honest, even if that means sharing things that make me uncomfortable. Digging through all of this crap has opened my eyes about a lot of things, especially pertaining to my marriage and other relationships. It has made me more aware of myself, who I want to be, and how to get there. I'm still struggling but I don't think that's ever going to go away. As long as I keep fighting.

     I didn't really mean for this post to be super introspective; all I really wanted to talk about was finally being able to commit to something as far as my career is concerned. But I have a lot on my plate at the moment plus I think it all ties in. My past has sort of made me commitment-phobic and finally taking a good long look at where I came from seems to be helping me make more sense of where I am going.

      With that said, I have taken steps to finally go after a career that I can be proud of and excited to get up for everyday. I've started an application to Penn State to finish my undergrad in Advertising/Public Relations and Strategic Communications. It sounds fancy, but I'll basically just be working with businesses to make sure their interactions with the public and other businesses is squeaky clean, creative, well thought out and perfectly executed. I'll also have the chance (and I fully plan on taking the opportunity) to work freelance to create any copy that businesses might need. Pamphlets, newsletters, website copy, logos, etc.

      It might sound boring to some but I like to learn and I like to write. I also like to convince people of my point and what is a copywriter but a salesman behind a typewriter? I feel really good about this and I feel like it's going to help quell my insatiable appetite for new projects because I'll always get to work with someone different with something different to bring to the table.

       I know that I've been through a lot of perspective careers since I graduated from high school, but as I said to my aunt in a  text recently, "I may not be the kind of girl that needed to spend months and months looking for the perfect wedding gown, but I needed to make sure that my career was a good fit." I bought my wedding dress in five minutes. That's not even an exaggeration. I saw it in the store, tried it on, rung it up. I was only going to wear it for ONE day. What did it matter? And seeing that my wedding day was more for the benefit of our loved ones, I was a little cavalier about the whole thing. However, a career... something that I had to go to everyday, spend time educating myself about, tying my life around... That was very difficult for me. I had really cold feet when it came to nailing something down for myself. Also, I'd be the only one to blame if I hated it. So, I spent a ton of time.... 8 years, to be precise, foraying into different paths. Convincing myself of why each new endeavor was a good fit. I don't know if I ever stopped to take time to just listen to my instincts.

       This time, it feels right. As I said, I've been cleaning proverbial house and I've been quiet long enough to hear what is inside of my soul and the song is getting lighter.

The Brightest Lights; freedom

I've been grieving a bit. I know considering the date, my civic duty should be to talk about how the grief is still heavy from the events of more than a decade ago. I still care and I still feel it, but my pain at current is for the pieces of myself I have let be buried under the explosion of my life. The person I am is trying to escape the rubble. She's been clawing and scrapping to be set free and I've been suffocating her. I've been trying to be pragmatic for longer than I can even try to point a finger at. The problem, for me anyway, with pragmatism is that I don't feel real feelings when I'm sensibly picking out classes for a career I don't really want anything to do with. Or deciding to stay home from a spontaneous road trip in favor of saving gas money. Or not going on a mission trip because that money could be mortgage money.

I used to love music. Almost more than anything else. I used to measure my life by songs. And sometimes, in the most inappropriate moments, melodic words want to bubble out of my throat.

I never used to feel more alive than when my pants were dirty with paint and there was charcoal and clay underneath my finger nails.

The only thing I've ever really done consistently is write. I have a bin full of journals that I used to work through my life with. I crave words. They are the currency that my soul thrives on. It's all that I want from anyone, more than anything. It is my love language.

I don't even care anymore how I got to a place where I'm not doing these things. I just want to change. Right now. I am no longer the woman who does things she doesn't want to do or acts like someone she's not.

I am a writer. I am an artist. I am a lover of music. I am alive.

Don't be normal: Letting go of falling in line, caring what people think, and taking off ideals that don't fit.

I'll do what I want.

It sounds willful and defiant. Like it's falling out of the mouth of a child. And as I say that, I stop and wonder why that's such a bad thing in context to how I feel now. I will do anything I want. As an adult, I've fallen in line with everyone else for way too long because that's what I thought I was "supposed" to do. I'm excellent at being submissive to the ideals of our culture and yet, I disagree with most of it. Which has in turn, made me miserable. I wrote a post similar to this on a different blog, regarding my faith and how it is the thing I cherish most in life but I don't show it very often because I fear what others will think about me.

So far in my life, it has gotten me nowhere, caring what other people think. It has gotten me nowhere but at breakneck speed. This is MY life, darn it. I don't know if I deserve it if I let anyone other than myself and God influence my decisions. Why do I cringe to myself every time I have a new business idea? Because the thought of sharing it yet again, for people to think how flighty and indecisive I am and how my career has been after me for ages to get married and I just can't commit. So what?! I wouldn't settle down with any old guy, I don't know why people expect me to settle down with any old career. I have standards. Another puzzling thing I seem to care about is my perceived intelligence. I have been in gifted classes and on the honor roll since the third grade. Stabilized IQ scores have been called into question, but it was high enough last time I was tested, that I can consider applying to Mensa. I come from a family of certifiable geniuses. My ability to use context clues and pick up on things that most people miss or don't want to admit is undeniable. Why do I freaking care if anyone thinks otherwise?! The million business ideas? ONE OF THEM IS GOING TO STICK ONE DAY AND MY BRAIN WILL BE THE BRAIN THAT THOUGHT IT UP.

So what if I wanted a blue wedding dress or that I want to have pink hair most of the time. Who the hell cares if I don't enjoy being a homeowner and would rather live in a studio or loft and be a minimalist!? What does it matter to anyone else if I fantasize about traveling around the country in a camper, gypsy style?? I have experienced "normal" and it made me so miserable, that I've been depressed and nearly suicidal.

Excuse me if I no longer feel like working at a job I HATE to pay for things that I don't even want because that's "what I'm supposed to do". From now on, I will do what I want.

Depression, a long summer and finding my fire again

It's been a month since I last posted. I've got a song playing on my ipod by All Time Low called 'Weightless'. The lyrics go "Manage me, I'm a mess. Turn a page, I'm a book half unread. I'm stuck in this effin rut, waiting for a second hand pick me up... I'm over getting older. Maybe it's not my weekend, but it's gonna be my year. I'm so sick of watching while the minutes pass as I go nowhere. This is my reaction to everything I fear... I've been going crazy, I don't want to waste another minute here."

I got really depressed the last couple of weeks. I let myself get stuck in a rut... It's difficult for me to crawl out of those funks. I've struggled with depression my entire life. For a long time I tried to ignore it and pretend it did't affect me; and then wonder why I was always so messed up. I finally learned to accept that it was a part of me and that I should try to deal with it. This blog was part of my way of working through things. But I have a hard time being honest about the times that I struggle, personally. I don't want people to see me fall apart, so rather than admit what I'm actually going through, I just stop being as transparent. I hide. So for the sake of trying to get over my issues... here's some brutal and uncomfortable (for me) honesty.

At the end of July, I had to euthanize my beloved cat, Hadley. I got her when she was 8 weeks old, and shortly after that, she developed a weird skin condition that caused her to itch her face raw... that I spent the next three years trying to cure. I dragged her to the vet many a time, only to find that they would just pump her full of steroids and send us home. The cycle would start all over again when the meds ran out. I tried everything I could possibly think of. We cleaned, we painted, we got rid of the carpets, we gave her special food and made sure that she didn't eat out of plastic bowls. We tried flea dips, special shampoos, holistic creams and oils, raw food, vitamin e, sardines for her coat, plastic tips for her nails and the dreaded cone. She spent half her life in that bloody thing. Most of the photos I have left are of her with a crusty face and half of her fur gone. It was time. That's not to say it didn't break my heart into a million pieces. I cried for three days. I miss her all the time...  That's what really sent me spiraling recently.

There's been other things. But I wasn't really thinking about them, I was just doing what I have to do. One is probably the fact that my marriage is really difficult. Like.... what?! I don't even know how we got here... I assume this is what we call a rough patch, I just didn't anticipate how hard it was going to be just to talk to him sometimes. I love him. He is my best friend. However, in instances like this evening, doing our budget together for the first time in a very long time was super laborious. We fight hard and I just wish either of us would freaking get it together and read a book on communication or something. I think we are going to kill each other.. maybe... then he turns around and tells me how beautiful I am. I can't tell if we are really resilient or really toxic.

Speaking of the budget, our financial life is atrocious. We were on a really good path for a while; paying off debt and keeping a good budget but then something happened. I'm not even sure what but we stopped talking about everything and he let me just start handling it all. I think that made me shut down because I stopped being 'good with the money' ... I spent... And I ate.. a lot. This has actually been a really long five years of my life. Nearly since the beginning of Kyle's and my relationship, we've had to overcome stuff... Stuff that I wasn't really prepared to deal with. I don't know... I don't want to spend this entire post complaining, I just don't know where to start to really sort through all this crap. I don't even recognize myself anymore. I used to have a lot of fire and passion and I just let it burn out.

I think I have to start by simply admitting that it has been my choices that have lead me down this path. There is no one to blame or congratulate for my successes and failures except me. I don't know if that is necessarily going to help or cure the clinical part of my issues... hormones are hormones but maybe I can jump start something in me again... If I truly start to believe that I am responsible for all the crappy things I have going on, maybe I can start to be responsible for making good things happen for myself too.. Like getting motivated enough to find a job that doesn't bore me to tears. Or to lose the weight I've been lugging around for the last five years, or to get started on my novel, or be a better wife, or work with my husband to get us into a better position in our finances and learn to communicate better with him, or get up the guts to finally apply to mensa.

I don't want to carry this shit anymore. I don't want to be this person anymore. I just gotta find my fire again.

Trading in 'skinny' for Strength

I made a facebook update about this yesterday, but I felt like I needed to expound upon my thoughts. After clocking around 30 miles in the last two weeks, I can already feel my legs getting stronger. So much so that I haven't woken myself up with a charlie horse in quite some time and when I get out of bed in the morning, my feet don't hurt nearly as much as they used to. Dealing with plantar fascitis for the last three years has been hellish and debilitating, but the last few weeks have been almost pleasant for my feet and me. I can take stairs easier, walk longer, breathe easier. It's a gorgeous feeling and I feel that way about myself. Some new and ground breaking thoughts sort of came rushing in yesterday and I think it's the most healthy I have ever percieved myself and my goals. I no longer just want to be 'skinny'. I absolutely want to be smaller, but now, it's for the right reasons. Not because someone told me that skinny neccessarily equals beautiful, but because being a smaller person would allow me to do things I haven't been able to do in a long time or ever. Not only do I want to be a smaller person, but I want to be a strong person. I want my body to have strength and grace so that I can enjoy what I'm doing. Three months ago, I couldn't be on my feet for longer than a few hours. Now, I'm marveling at how strong my calves feel and how far they can take me. One of my best friends once told me that I need to make working out a hobby; that I need to get to a point where I enjoyed doing it. I could never understand where he was coming from before because my goals of 'getting skinny' weren't enough to make me want to do the hard work. It was a lazy goal but, now, feeling the rewards of working harder than I ever have is leading me to want to put the time and effort in. Now, I'm addicted to feeling my body strengthen. It is so good. As trite as this sounds, nothing is more fitting for me right now than the Nike slogan, 'Just Do It'. I got to a point where I ran out of excuses and I just went out there and started working for it. Some of the miles are challenging, mentally, but I can't think of many things that are more rewarding than doing the best for your body. I wish I would have gotten here sooner.

Quality time, relationships, tlc and confidence

Well, I had a super long weekend starting from Thursday night. Kyle texted me early in the morning and said he wanted to stay over in Philly so he could get some extra training in the next day. I worked it out so that I could have off on Friday and planned to work on our yard, which desperately needed some labor intensive hours this weekend. I didn't end up doing my normal 8 ish mile walk home that evening, because I knew if I wanted to have enough energy to work outside, I wasn't going to be able to do the trek home. Good thing Berks county, at least, has a few decent taxi services to call upon, despite the very lacking public bus system. The 22 bucks I spent getting home was worth the price to be able to work some earth Friday morning.

I treated myself to some sushi and strawberries with whipped cream when I got home, for the long week I put in... 39 hours of work plus 23 miles of walk. It was a nice quiet evening and I fell asleep with my dog next to me. Friday morning came early. Rachel woke me up around 8:30 and she took me to Home Depot so I could buy a new lawn mower, finally. I also picked up an electric chainsaw so I could begin chopping down the awful bushes that have been taking over my yard for way too long. I can't begin to describe the feeling that overcame as I began hacking away at the terror trees. Anyway, I spent a good amount of time putting the lawn mower together with only one of the right size wrenches I needed and a vise grip... sonuva-b. That was annoying but supremely exciting when I finally got it all together and revved up the engine. Ellie was excited too... I had to keep yelling at her to get away from the mower so she wouldn't get her little paws chopped off. She such a silly pants sometimes.The yard looks better, but we still have a long way to go. I also need to call the electric company to get them to come and trim the trees where the branches are hanging out with the power lines. Soon enough, the yard will be pretty and I won't feel like the Clampits of the neighborhood.

Friday night, I watched this mini series called The Runaway. It. Broke. My. Heart! Holy crap... it was seedy and devastating. It's Monday morning and I'm still tearing up at the thought of some of the things I saw and how well the actors portrayed them. I know it wasn't real and it's based off of a crime novel, but I can't help but imagine that somewhere, these things happen. I mean obviously, they do, I just don't think about it because I never have to really see it. The piece was so moving that it was something else I added to the column of reasons why I'd like to adopt a baby. I want to save someone from the heartache of the things I watched. So heavy:(

Saturday night, I got to spend time with some of Kyle's friends that I hadn't, previously. We played Cards Against Humanity, ate pizza and I got to try a gluten free beer called, Angry Orchard, which was delicioso! I had a really great time with them and am happy that they are good people and Kyle has some more people he can lean on & care about. I think good friends really make someone a well rounded person.

Sunday was spent working more on the yard and then swimming, again, with Kyle's friends. Andrew invited us to his father's house for swimming, games and a cook out. I was nursing a dehydration headache and didn't really start to feel better until later, but I made the best of it. We played Uno and I got to meet Andrew's family.

The weekend was one of the better ones I've had in a long time. I got to spend the first part of it giving our home some much needed tlc and spending quality time with Ellie. Then I got to spend quality time with Rachel when she took me shopping Friday morning. It was a welcome treat after not seeing her for a few weeks, now that she's on a different shift than me. I spent the next two days going out with Kyle and meeting some fun, new friends. I even felt really great getting dressed and putting some make up on. Spending the previous week walking and thinking about my food choices has really boosted my confidence. I even took a 'selfie' to mark the occasion. I made some good choices eating, even though I went off the track a bit with the pizza and cookout, but I still think I'm doing much better. A new acquaintance of mine sent me a link to an interesting food blog that has really funny headers on each post. I got a kick out of it but more importantly, it is a fantastic resource for me to try new, healthy recipes. I'm on my way to a healthier, more thoughtful future. I feel good about where I've been and where I'm headed. Feels good man.

XO.

Here's some photos I remembered to grab over the weekend.

 Got to spend some time with this silly pup! Love her little face<3 .="" br="">

Used my headphones so much in the last two weeks, being active, that I broke them! 

One of the headers from the food blog I was recently shown.  I'll post the link soon.

 

Selfie. I feel like my chest still takes over but I'm really starting to feel fantastic. My feet don't hurt as much and I can feel myself getting stronger. I can't wait to be strong enough to do things like climb and kayak!!! Fit life, here I come!

A healthy salad I had over the weekend. Organic spring mix, blue corn tortilla chips, a broken up cranberry & pistachio bar and pomegranite vinaigrette. To many more healthy choices!



What did you do over the weekend? Tell us in the comments below! 

Training for a 5k; staying positive

I'm. SO. tired.

Since Saturday, I've walked 15.12 miles. 8.5 of them last night alone. That's why I didn't have a chance to post last night. I came home and had zero energy for anything except eating, showering, feeding the pets and going to sleep. My muscles hurt mostly in the good way but I am having a little trouble with my feet and ankle. I took some aspirin and am drinking water today, so, I'm hoping I'll be ready for round three this week of the long walk home. If I can do this two more times by Saturday, I'll have walked 30 miles! Which is exciting. And terrifying! I just want a long, long nap. Something exciting that I woke up to this morning; in posting my workout stats to FB, I got invited to participate in another 5k in October. I have to push through, I can't give up. Here's a few photos to share my progress.

These are from Monday:

Tuesday:

I've been trying to eat cleaner, as well. This is lunch I made for all week of quinoa & an avocado. Very tasty! 

This is definitely a part of my journey where I have to keep fighting the negative thoughts & doubts that are creeping in and pray A LOT! I'm already tired and have a little bit of anxiety about today's walk. I know I can do it and it's an investment in my future. Nothing good comes easy.


What are some ways that you have stayed positive during difficult times? Respond in the comments below!

Training for Color Me Rad 5k... and Stuff about Bethany Hamilton

I have decided to take part in the Color Me Rad 5k with my Aunt Gina. I have never run anything before in my life and I'm a little nervous but I think it's a good way to begin training for my marathon. We have both downloaded the Couch to 5k app and started training on Saturday, 6/15/13. Our plan is to pick a city along the east coast that we want to run this race in, and get ourselves prepared in time. I'm very excited to be participating in something like this, because my health conditions have previously held me back from doing anything physical or fun for a very long time. I, however, am quite over letting my situation dictate what I can and can't do. I recently had an opportunity to hear Bethany Hamilton speak and she was so inspiring. If you don't know who she is, it is SO worth the ten minutes to google her. Essentially, she was a 13 year old surfer girl from Kaui, that got her arm taken off by a shark, just as she was on the cusp of getting sponsored for professional surfing. She went on to not only get back in the water & re-learn to surf on regular competitive boards, but she realized her dream of becoming a professional surfer. She is someone I look up to and someone who reminds me to push through, have faith, keep going, work hard and come out the other side. So, even though a 5k is just a little baby run, it's going to be huge for me and I can't wait to see where else it will lead.

What kinds of activities have you participated in that took a lot of dedication & training? How did you feel afterwards? Leave your answers in the comments below!

16 things I learned from being an adult.

Yesterday, I had the startling realization that I am, in fact, an adult. Something that had previously escaped my knowledge for reasons unknown to me, however, now that I know it, the idea is liberating. It sounds silly to me to say it like this, but I'm doing it anyway (because, hey... I'm a grown up and I can do what I want... mostly.) but it feels like I literally got a new lens to look through. My perspective changed, in an instant. Where there were once roadblocks, there is now open possibilities. I can see opportunities that I was missing before and also the closed doors of what I, admittedly, shouldn't even bother with anymore. I'm still a little stressed about situations, but I'm starting to see that it's only that; situations. The only transcendental thing about life is our connections with each other; our relationships. Becoming the best version of myself that I can be is the greatest way to take part in the most rewarding aspect of living on earth. Here's a list of 16 things I've picked up along the way that make me feel like a decent adult.

1) Get out of your head. I don't know about you, but I spend a lot of time in my brain, getting cozy with my limiting beliefs. I entertain them, invite them in and let them use my good China. It is for this reason that I haven't been able to really accomplish the big things I've dreamed about... I have a living room full of 'NOs' and I'm giving them my full attention. It's time to kick out the things that say you 'can't', put your coat on, and step outside to experience the world as it actually is.

2) Share your stuff. Share your clothes, share your house, share your food, share your money, share your time. Hands that are open to give, are open to receive. Not only that but, when you share, you are reinforcing your connection to people; somewhere deep down, it makes you realize that we all have the same needs. Sharing strengthens your empathy muscle.

3) Take care of yourself. A cup can only continue to supply you with water if it is constantly being refilled. When you refill and recharge yourself mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally, you will always have enough of yourself to give to other people. Inversely, when you neglect yourself to try to take care of everyone and everything, you will burn out easy.

4) Learn to say 'NO'. Be it to yourself when you want to buy something and can't afford it or to someone else when they are not respecting your boundaries. No is an important word to master and sometimes takes a lot of practice, but strengthening the skill to say it can save you a lot of pain and aggravation later on. It also shows people that you respect yourself enough acknowledge your own boundaries.

5) Learn to say 'Yes'. Knowing your boundaries is good. Hiding from things that are potentially life changing and amazing... not so much. Get out there!

6) Volunteer. Anywhere. Everywhere! Figure out what pulls at your heartstrings and go lend a hand. The feeling that you get from giving back from the community is incredible. I'm telling you that there aren't many things more satisfying than giving your time, energy, and love to renewing and lifting people up. You will feel blessed, humbled and thankful.

7) Return your library books on time. This sounds silly, perhaps, but when you bring back your books on time, you are showing respect for your local library and fellow book readers. You are building trust that you are a reliable human being. This translates over to putting your cart back in the corral after shopping, putting things back where you got it, cleaning up your trash, etc. It's courteous. And people like other people who are courteous.

8) Speaking of books, read them. When you read, you don't just gain information, you work your brain muscle. When your brain is strong, it works and processes better, which can lead to better communication, problem solving, and forward thinking. Do it, you won't regret it. Plus, you'll have plenty of stuff to talk about at parties;)

9) Speaking of parties, learn to network. This skill is invaluable. Let me repeat, THIS SKILL IS INVALUABLE. It can lead you to opportunities that you might not have otherwise known about or had access to. It could land you a job of a lifetime, a friendship/partnership/relationship, adventure! You could introduce someone to someone else, and that introduction sparked a romance or a crazy great business idea and later, that someone remembers you when a great opportunity comes up. It is a constantly moving web of interaction and connection that can lead you to (great!) roads unknown!

10) Surround yourself with positive people. You are most influenced and most like the five people closest to you. Think about who your 'Five' are. Do they build you up and support you? Or do they tear you down? A little bit of refocusing and finding a community to support your goals and dreams could be all that you need to start achieving your goals.

11) STOP. WATCHING. TV. It's distracting and it's easy to do, so you aren't getting any value out of it for your mind or body. I guess there is something to be said for documentaries and shows with solid, informational content, but really, you can get that anywhere. Seriously. Just stop it. Do you really need to re-watch the season finale of The Mindy project? No.

12) Smile and say hello to people. It makes you memorable and it makes people feel good/want to be around you. It's easy and costs nothing! Even if you feel terrible, paste on a smile and you'll probably start to feel better anyway.

13) Say what you mean. Do not try to wrap things up in subtext and expect the other person to understand what you meant/wanted/felt. People can't read minds and it's very frustrating to try to improve communication and work on achieving goals in a relationship when one or both people are not being clear. Besides, if you just say what you actually meant in the first place, it gives the other person a chance to respond accordingly instead of spending valuable time trying to figure out what you meant.

14) Be serious about your health. Not only will you have more energy when you eat right and exercise, but feeling fantastic can improve your mental state too. I get very moody when I don't feel well. As I age, I'm starting to pay attention to what my body is trying to tell me because I'd rather spend more days feeling great than not. Plus, your brain releases hormones that make you feel good when you exercise! It's a win every time!

15) Learn how to be responsible with money. You can spend a whole lot of time doing things the wrong way and trying to dig yourself out of messes you made by not knowing. I've spent a lot of time in jobs I hate because I had to clean up some very stupid decisions. When you know what to do with money, you aren't a slave to it.

16) And one more thing for now. Listen to the news on a need-to-know basis. It's good to be aware of current issues, but don't hang on the media's every word. It's just one more negative influence to try to struggle against. I've spent many a days worrying over nuclear war and economic downturn. That heavy feeling in your chest takes you out of your element and holds you back. Have empathy for our fellow humans, be changed, reach out, but don't be beaten and worry over it.


So, that's what I've come up with so far. I know I'm not done marinating in my 'grown-up soup' and I hope to never be done. I want to continually grow, change, and be better. I am open to so many more life lessons and I can't wait to share them.

What are some things that you have learned as you've become and adult? Share in the comments below!

Climbing Patagonia, Chile.

Check this out. This is something I would really like to do in the future! Even though I have an almost paralyzing fear of heights... I'm going to get over it. And I'm going to climb this sucker. It's going to take a small team probably... and a hefty investment in gear... and most importantly, I have to be in pretty good shape to even attempt this. What I can start doing right now in preparation for Patagonia, is taking care of myself. Paying attention to my health and well being. Work on getting strong. I'm going to start doing yoga at home and when I can afford it again, join the rock gym and get my butt on some hard climbs. I'd like to say by this time next year, I want to be able to lead climb up and over the ceiling at the gym.