We spent about $30 dollars between the two of us on groceries/meals (I bought a coffee and low fat cheese sticks for breakfast yesterday and he bought two slices of Pizza for supper... the rest was spent at the grocery store) This only happened because a) I haven't been shopping in a while and b) we were both on the run... I woke up late and didn't have time to grab anything, anyway and he didn't have time to stay home long enough for me to make something. I think we can remedy these occurrences when he starts getting regular paychecks again. I have big plans for going back to shopping at the farmer's market and cooking more often/pre-preparing meals for the week. Anyway, I usually spend a lot more on snacks and drinks while I'm at work... mostly because I get so bored that I end up emotionally eating, just to keep from going crazy. Thinking about having to share all that with you guys pushed me to abstain. It's embarrassing how I have spent my days here and I am happy that I can be open and honest about my relationship with this job and what's become of me being here. It feels good to talk about it, to address it and
Now I have to share about how I ate. It's not going to be pretty... The day started off ok. I ate one and a half low fat cheese sticks, two packs of instant oatmeal, coffee with french vanilla creamer and sugar (its all toxic, I'm aware, but its a step up from where I've been, trust me) I then just drank water for the rest of the day because I didn't bring lunch with me and I didn't want to spend any more money out... But I didn't really feel hungry, so I let it go. By the time I got around to 5 o'clock, I still wasn't hungry but I was so stressed out from being supremely bored, anxious, tired and feeling trapped at my desk in addition to my excruciating commute home in the dark that I got out of control when I went home. I had sushi AND mac & cheese plus a piece of pumpkin cheesecake and chips. I then felt too tired to do anything that I wanted to accomplish and I promptly laid down with Ellie and watched cheesy Christmas movies until 1:30 am. Kyle did a little better, I think. Oatmeal for breakfast, eggs for lunch and pizza for supper with chips as a snack. Not the healthiest but he didn't eat a bunch of snacks like we are used to. I still need to research the two diets we are thinking about switching to. We really do have a desire to eat better and more healthfully, we are just trying to cut back on the junk and get a better grip on how to feed ourselves well. More specifically for me, get over my addiction and stop eating when I can't handle my life.
As far as the other things I want to try to start doing on the daily, I didn't read or pray, budget my time or do any chores. I don't know that Kyle did either. But he IS already up to season 6 of Doctor Who, so he will be ready for the Christmas Day regen... haha. I'm joking, but still. It's all a work in progress and so far, it has already inspired us to be a little more intentional. That's all I wanted. I pray that we will continue to think and grow in this way and talk to each other more and more.
I'm not going to be able to post the link to any of my social media until later tonight, because, guess what!! Our phones got shut off yesterday!! Haha. I'm not upset. Just another obstacle to overcome. And we WILL overcome.
Thank you all for the continued support and encouragement. XO!
Currently listening to: Desert Soul by Rend Collective Experiment